July 15, 2008 at 12:43 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Frustrated with too many of her teenage daughters (she has 4 daughters 17-20, and a 2 year old) actually at home for the summer, my friend has developed her own version of house rules that gave me such a laugh I just had to share:
Rules of Engagement [address redacted to protect the not-so-innocent] but the emphasis below is hers
In no particular order, here are the things that we all need to sign off on. “We” meaning anyone that has a toothbrush here. “We” are also responsible for guests
No eating in/on/near me & [husband]’s bed. It’s like crawling into a sandbox with crumb sometimes. Ick. Stop it or that room’s off-limits.
Do not leave the home phone(s) outside. Or laying on the floor next to the toilet. Or kicked under the desk/couch/table. PUT IT AWAY.
Also, re-set the ringer to LOW once you’re inside. If the home phone wakes up [2 year old daughter] I will beat someone with it.
Please do not take my alarm clock. If you borrow it, put it back.
If the central air is on, close the windows. DUH.
I will start collecting money (that could go for pizza, Chinese takeout, college, etc.) for lights left on. Especially the garage and basement lights. Seriously: CUT IT OUT PLEASE.
If you leave your clothes on the bathroom floor or on my bedroom floor or on the living room floor they will be donated to Goodwill.
If you leave your clothes stuffed in the cushions of the couch they’ll be donated to the firepit.
Please wear your own shoes. If you borrow someone else’s shoes without telling them you forfeit the right to EVER complain if you can’t find your own.
Put away leftovers in plastic containers.
Do not set open soda cans/cups of Gatorade/milk on a shelf in the fridge. It WILL spill, I promise.
If you spill something, clean it up. Now. Not later or in a minute. NOW.
Do not leave things in the backyard that will get soaked or blown away.
No one is allowed to start laundry unless they’ll be there long enough to put it in the dryer. And if you put clothes in the dryer, put them in long enough to actually dry OR be around long enough to check on them and add time if they’re not dry. Washing the same load 3 times because no one transferred it or it didn’t dry thoroughly is seriously cutting into the pizza/Chinese/college funds.
Towels. (This is important! Pay attention!) Hang them up to dry in the bathroom. Then, use them again. Repeat as necessary, up to 2 or 3 times. Places towels do not belong:
Bathroom floor
Any floor, really
Draped on the computer monitor (which…what?)
Rolled up against the bedroom door to block…anything. Anything at all. (Do I have your attention?)
These Rules are for the safety of yourselves and others. Compliance=Less Crazy and maybe enough money saved for more WII games or therapy or some other family-friendly endeavor.
July 10, 2008 at 1:39 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Lost Remote reports:
“AllVoices.com bills itself as “the first open media site where anyone can report from anywhere.” You can send in reports via voice, email, SMS or MMS, and it’s pinpointed on a large map on the home page. But instead of just relying on citizen journalists to send in all the news, ”
June 30, 2008 at 2:09 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Today’s Woot makes sense on so many levels. It explains everything, actually.
FROM: Dr. Reinhard Van Frightening
TO: My minions, lackeys, goons, and henchpersons
RE: Operation PowerPoint
Greetings, peons! It is I, your unquestioned master, Dr. Van Frightening! First, I want to thank Fatala and the rest of the party planning committee for a really great barbecue this past Memorial Day. An especially nice touch was roasting alive those Interpol informers we found in our ranks. The dark hallways of Castle Van Frightening always seem a little less gloomy when they ring with the screams of those who have betrayed me. And the rest of the food? I may be the super-villain, Fatala, but your banana-walnut pudding is the real threat – to my waistline, that is!
Now, on to business…evil business! As you all know, Operation PowerPoint has been underway for over 20 years now, and it’s already showing great results. Our operatives designed PowerPoint to cripple the minds of America’s decision makers by reducing their thoughts to short, bulleted lists and easily digestible chunklets of superficial quasi-information. Over time, we hoped, their ability to comprehend complex, detailed ideas would atrophy away. The most powerful men in the world’s most powerful nation would be rendered utterly unable to meet the challenges of running the economy and government. And darned if we aren’t succeeding. Just pick up a newspaper. There’s all the proof you need.
I’m pleased to announce the next phase in Operation PowerPoint. The Gyration GyroTransport Air Mouse makes it easy and fun to give presentations by allowing the victim to move the mouse around in the air like some kind of totally rad video game controller. No surface needed, no wires involved, you don’t even have to point it at the screen. And it works from up to 100 feet away. We believe this makes PowerPoint even more insidiously seductive. But that’s not all. The GyroTransport’s wireless USB transmitter doubles as a 1GB Flash drive, suitable for storing – you guessed it – PowerPoint presentations. Ain’t I a stinker?
We’ve arranged with one of our front companies in Texas to offer the Gyration GyroTransport Air Mouse with 1GB USB Drive at a discounted price of $39.99, to enhance its penetration into the nerve centers of American power. Until our campaign to have 133tsp34k adopted as the U.S.A.’s official language succeeds, this new phase of Operation PowerPoint is our best hope yet of destroying the American intellect. The day draws nearer when everyone on Earth shall squirm beneath my mailed fist. And I couldn’t do it without you guys. Thanks – and remember: it’s no accident that “insane, murderous megalomaniacal scheme” rhymes with “team”!
Warranty: One year Gyration
Features:
Innovative gyroscopic motion-sensing technology for in-air navigation and cursor control
Built-in 1GB Flash Memory with auto launch – Take your data anywhere
2.4 GHz RF technology – up to 100-foot range for cordless freedom and remote control
GyroTools Software – Gives you greater control over your digital media, and presentations
2 button mouse with durable loop for key chain attachment
Swipes feature Let’s you open web pages, scroll down menus, and navigate with just a flick of a wrist.
Gives you freedom to move around during your presentation. You don’t have to aim the GyroTransport at your monitor to control the mouse.
April 9, 2008 at 6:59 am · Filed under Uncategorized
Flickr has added video, and though a limit of :90 isn’t much it should be nice tough and a add a boost to the community.
The video support is only available in Pro accounts.
Likely as a result of the meg-hogging feature, flickr has also increased the size limitations for all accounts: 20MB per photo for Pro members, and 10MB per photo for free accounts.
It’s great to see such a thoughtful exploration of what effect the internet is having not only on the newspaper business, but also on the quality of media itself.
