June 30, 2008 at 2:09 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Today’s Woot makes sense on so many levels. It explains everything, actually.
FROM: Dr. Reinhard Van Frightening
TO: My minions, lackeys, goons, and henchpersons
RE: Operation PowerPoint
Greetings, peons! It is I, your unquestioned master, Dr. Van Frightening! First, I want to thank Fatala and the rest of the party planning committee for a really great barbecue this past Memorial Day. An especially nice touch was roasting alive those Interpol informers we found in our ranks. The dark hallways of Castle Van Frightening always seem a little less gloomy when they ring with the screams of those who have betrayed me. And the rest of the food? I may be the super-villain, Fatala, but your banana-walnut pudding is the real threat – to my waistline, that is!
Now, on to business…evil business! As you all know, Operation PowerPoint has been underway for over 20 years now, and it’s already showing great results. Our operatives designed PowerPoint to cripple the minds of America’s decision makers by reducing their thoughts to short, bulleted lists and easily digestible chunklets of superficial quasi-information. Over time, we hoped, their ability to comprehend complex, detailed ideas would atrophy away. The most powerful men in the world’s most powerful nation would be rendered utterly unable to meet the challenges of running the economy and government. And darned if we aren’t succeeding. Just pick up a newspaper. There’s all the proof you need.
I’m pleased to announce the next phase in Operation PowerPoint. The Gyration GyroTransport Air Mouse makes it easy and fun to give presentations by allowing the victim to move the mouse around in the air like some kind of totally rad video game controller. No surface needed, no wires involved, you don’t even have to point it at the screen. And it works from up to 100 feet away. We believe this makes PowerPoint even more insidiously seductive. But that’s not all. The GyroTransport’s wireless USB transmitter doubles as a 1GB Flash drive, suitable for storing – you guessed it – PowerPoint presentations. Ain’t I a stinker?
We’ve arranged with one of our front companies in Texas to offer the Gyration GyroTransport Air Mouse with 1GB USB Drive at a discounted price of $39.99, to enhance its penetration into the nerve centers of American power. Until our campaign to have 133tsp34k adopted as the U.S.A.’s official language succeeds, this new phase of Operation PowerPoint is our best hope yet of destroying the American intellect. The day draws nearer when everyone on Earth shall squirm beneath my mailed fist. And I couldn’t do it without you guys. Thanks – and remember: it’s no accident that “insane, murderous megalomaniacal scheme” rhymes with “team”!
Warranty: One year Gyration
Features:
Innovative gyroscopic motion-sensing technology for in-air navigation and cursor control
Built-in 1GB Flash Memory with auto launch – Take your data anywhere
2.4 GHz RF technology – up to 100-foot range for cordless freedom and remote control
GyroTools Software – Gives you greater control over your digital media, and presentations
2 button mouse with durable loop for key chain attachment
Swipes feature Let’s you open web pages, scroll down menus, and navigate with just a flick of a wrist.
Gives you freedom to move around during your presentation. You don’t have to aim the GyroTransport at your monitor to control the mouse.
June 26, 2008 at 10:51 am · Filed under Marketing, Video
Some really nice help from Jeff Porter at Searchengineland.com geared towards small, local businesses looking to enter the wild-west world of Online Video Ads.
June 20, 2008 at 11:01 am · Filed under Google, Metrics
Rustybrick woke me up out of my Friday Zone with some interesting breaking news today: Google Trends is now open out of the Labs for web sites.
This is very cool info for those of us looking for some numbers out of our markets.
Some features include:
Geographics, visit trends, and search terms of searchers
A “Search Volume Index” with line chart
“Also Visited” sites, highlighting direct competition
The ability to search more than one site at a time, in other words, comparing competitor data
The site is accessible without the personalization, but logging in with your Google Account also allows you to export the trend data as a .csv.
The data is culled from the pool of information Google has been collecting through an opt in in it’s Analytics program, consumer panel data, and market research, so it should more closely resemble true trends than similar online products like Alexa, which collect data from a limited pool of toolbar users.
Since this is the first I’ve attended, I was not sure how applicable the information covered in the second of Google’s Webmaster Chats would be for me and my situation. Despite this, I had just passed my Professionals Exam (please note the pretty logo in the Sidebar!), and had overall had a pretty crappy day, so spending an hour or so on a WebEx sounded appealing enough.
I am glad I did.
All levels and veins of interest were represented, and the presentations were helpful, and interesting enough, and I picked up lots of salient little tidbits out of the ongoing 300-question Q&A.
So, here’s a quick cheat sheet of my notes, without the legibility issues of my penmanship:
One presentation highlighted the underused Google Subscribed Links, and the Google Personalized Search Engine.
Personalized Search Factors include: user location, user options, and search history.
You can also turn off the personalization of a search query by adding “&pws=0″ to the string.
For help in ranking well in Local Search, be sure to keep your physical address on the page.
Some answers emphasized that results are personalized by IP.
With over 200 factors for Ranking, let’s face it, no one can keep track all of the time.
Multiple languages on one page can confuse not only users, but also the bots. Try to choose 1 language, and stick with it, or create a landing page for each language.
Automated language translation of pages is still read as duplicate content by the bots.
There is no such thing as an “.edu boost”. No extensions are any differently weighted, either domain or file type. If the bots can read it, that’s it.
While url strings are case sensitive, Google searches are not. All Caps is even fine.
There is no difference between hyphens, dashes, or underscores. You no longer need to worry about avoiding the hyphens, but you also really shouldn’t worry about switching out all of those underscores you’re using either.
The Googlers were all wondering why we were all asking so many questions about Meta Tags? The only one at all used is the Meta Description, and that’s not even commonly used. Quit it with the meta worries
The buzz words for the session seemed to be “personalization“, “localization“, and “accessibility“.
A top point was to make you site accessible, usable, and enjoyable for the user, and maintain quality, relevant content. If you follow these simple concepts, the bots will be fine, too.
I hope you get a chance to sit in on the next one. I highly recommend it. Expect more of this fun little “open-ness” adventure from Google in the next quarter.
“Microsoft is going after the $70 billion spent on TV ads every year. This morning it announced that it will acquire Navic Networks, a company based in Waltham, Massachusetts that delivers interactive ads across cable TV networks. ”
With wider options for their demos, the effort should prove to be fairly strong competition for Google.
You made some big changes this year. You’ve grown in leaps and bounds, but I have to admit, I was feeling a little neglected. As if your head was turned, and you were only focused on your power users, and the big deals. As if i just wasn’t good enough for you anymore.
You’ve just managed to do what no one else could - you gave me that little signal, that little change that let me know that you were still paying attention.
I know it’s silly, but I always figured that if you required Unicode for your uploads, that you should allow me to export my spreadsheets into that format. You just never gave me that option. I didn’t want to turn to another word processor to do the conversion, but you forced me into it.
But now that the txt that I export works for you, we can go back to being exclusive again.
It’s a little thing, I know, but sometimes it’s the little things (that save three steps) that really matter.
“In accordance with the DMCA, ads may be removed for copyright infringement reasons. Ad disapprovals due to copyright complaints may be contested through the DMCA counter notification procedure.”
A complaint of an infringement claim requires a signed letter on company stationery containing:
Identify in sufficient detail the copyrighted work that you believe has been infringed. For example, ‘The copyrighted work at issue is the text that appears on www.google.com/ads.’
Identify the material that you claim is infringing the copyrighted work listed in item #1 above. This requires you to provide the search query that you used and the URL for each allegedly infringing ad.
Provide information reasonably sufficient to permit Google to contact you (email address is preferred.)
Provide information, if possible, sufficient to permit Google to notify the owner or administrator of the web page that allegedly contains infringing material (email address is also preferred.)
Include the following statement: ‘I have a good faith belief that use of the copyrighted materials described above on the allegedly infringing web pages is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.’
Include the following statement: ‘I swear, under penalty of perjury, that the information in the notification is accurate and that I am the copyright owner or am authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.’
Your signature.
A counter notification can be made following similar standards:
Identify the specific URLs of material that Google has removed or to which Google has disabled access. For Google Groups, identify the sender, date, newsgroup, and subject matter of all the material in question.
Provide your name, address, telephone number, email address, and a statement that you consent to the jurisdiction of Federal District Court for the judicial district in which your address is located (or Santa Clara County, California if your address is outside of the United States), and that you will accept service of process from the person who provided notification under subsection (c)(1)(C) or an agent of such person.
Include the following statement: “I swear, under penalty of perjury, that I have a good faith belief that each search result or message identified above was removed or disabled as a result of a mistake or misidentification of the material to be removed or disabled.”
Your signature.
Google, Inc.
Attn: Google AdWords, Copyright Complaints
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, CA 94043
USA
In the US: 650-618-1499
Outside the US: +1-650-618-1499
Attn: Google Copyright Complaints
